The choice is yours ->

On a real note though, yeah, the only way you know me is as an obnoxious, self-righteous dickhead who thinks the world needs to bow down and kiss his feet and that opinion is very justified, because I've never acted in any other way when around you in a game like this.

Now, when it comes to dragging other games into a new one, that's not the style of game I play, we just happened to never talk and where as I have mentioned your name as someone I was nervous to play with again to certain people pre-merge, I didn't enter the game obsessively wanting to target you, just because of how things went in games before that.

(THE FOLLOWING PART IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING I SPENT A GOOD WHILE DELETING AND REWRITING SHIT FROM, LOL.)

For some reason I have developed a part in my brain, that allows me to say shit towards people whom I feel disrespected by or generally tend to dislike in a game and it's in fact something I put my thoughts towards as of why that is so. I have a rough idea what the reason could be, but that's not something I'm going to bring into this. It's just safe to say that I'm not as proud about certain things I've said and done as people think I am, in fact, I think back about certain situations and how they could've been handled differently.

When it comes to people wanting to talk to me about things they don't like about me, what I said or how I acted in a situation, there have been couple of people who've talked to me about things like this in private and it were civil conversations, I don't pop off at people for pointing out something to me that they've noticed, it shows that they're actually concerned and it shows that they generally want to know stuff and they want to know it from me. If people like to point things out behind my back and it comes back to me, it ticks me off and usually results in confrontation, because if I have an issue with someone that I consider a friend, I'm a straight shooter about it. You're not wrong if you consider it selfish if I say, that I expect the same treatment by other people.

Things have gotten ugly throughout my history and yeah, I have been a bitter juror many times and I've explained my case to friends why I felt bitter in certain situations, I generally don't give a shit if I get blindsided/voted out for a reason, but I don't appreciate being led on and/or betrayed by folks who I've considered close as well as being given fake/shitty treatment. You reap what you sow and the fruit you receive from me is a taste of your own medicine (mostly).

Anyway, people can look at me whichever fucking way they want to, as long as they don't talk shit on me if they never tried to get to know me on a human level at all, because I'm not just a ball of obnoxious, person-hating and bitter, I can be a rational human-being also :- )

Now you can look at this whichever way you want to, may it be you still thinking of me the same way or in another, either way I'm going to finish this off with two rather simple words: Thank you.

Hi Charlie

I don't use facebook a lot, and really don't even remember "deleting" you as a friend. Did I ever have you added as a friend? I do not necessarily think this defines a relationship, and in some games It is a steategy to not have friends on your "friends list" as people automatically draw lines in the sand and make connections and assumptions that may not necessarily be there. I do know on another site I have a habit of "accidentally leaving groups" or "accidentally deleting people" by leaving my ipad open when I fall asleep at night, and rolling over or bumping it, and even going to grab it in the morning nd finding that I have left a group or deleted someone accidentally. Quite honesty I had no idea we were not friends. I am not sure how or why this is even relevant to the fact that I was 100% with you, and I demonstrated that in the way I did everything I could to keep both you and I safe from tribal right up until the point where Ci'ere attacked me fir it and you took his side. That was very telling as to where your loyalties lay. Why, if it bothered you so much, didn't you ask me about it before now?

Being paranoid wasn't an actuality, it was a perception. I like to keep a wall up, especially around people I don't know, in order to dig deeper and watch peoples reactions, usually peoples initial reactions tell me a lot about them and their true intentions. I am the sort of person who never really makes a final decision until I know what the potential fallout is going to be, and I weigh up my options carefully. To get information I usually have to push boundaries and people to get certain information, sometimes having to cross lines to get the information I need. People perceive this as paranoia I guess. The more questions you ask and the more you push the more people start to second guess you and wonder what you are thinking. By questioning your motives and decisions, was more about testing your relationships with others and then by questioning where they stand it creates a picture of where everyone stands, who they are most loyal to and how , if at all, I can create cracks in alliances and create opportunities to move forward in the game.

I am the first to admit I have issues with trusting people I don't know. That is a personal issue that I constantly am working on on a daily basis. I play games like these to work on developing reelationships with people and building trust. It is a steep learning curve as these games can and are brutal most of the time, but I persist because for every 10 times I may get screwed over by trusting the wrong person, there is always one person who does show me that I made the right choice trusting them. In this game I was pleasantly surprised as there were many people whom I put my trust in and they still had my back when the dust settled.

One thing I do take pride in, and have been told that it is rare in these games, I am honest and will say what I think or respond honestly, even if they don't necessarily like the answer or it isn't in their best interests. If someone asks me for my opionion I will give it. If I have an issue with someone or something, I will go to them and tell them, I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but at least if we are not on the same page, we can find some mutually beneficial middle ground moving forward, or if there is no mutually beneficial middle ground, then at least we both know where we stand and can move forward. I try not to dwell on shit, life is too short.

As for the Ci'ere boot, that was not planned. When he came at me for keeping you safe I was really shocked tbh. The more he came at me the more I realised that you him and Jon obviously had a f3 and I was at the bottom. It was at this point that I started talking to Bradley and we came to a mutually beneficial understanding that opened up the game for me. Almost everyone was willing to take him out, and I couldn't have done it if I had not taken the time to talk to most of the others in the game at one point or another.

I showed you loyalty many times before this, and always intended to stick with you. From the moment Bradley started bringing up our names, my one goal was to keep us both safe. When you attacked me after he left I knew that was no longer an option. You would probably still be in the game if it wasn't for your attack on me. There are pivital moments in a game, just because Ci'ere left at that point, didn't mean you were next, you created that chain of events by your reaction and subsequent attack on me. You were one person I would have liked to see go further in the game, but at the end of the day it just didn't pan out that way.

I really did enjoy getting to know you.

Thank you guys so much. I have a lot of respect for you both. <3